It's surprising how quickly 3 weeks can pass by. It's equally surprising to realise how the next 3 weeks, that sit firmly in front of me, can seem SO daunting. Standing halfway up the mountain and looking back at what I've accomplished is good ... looking up to the summit is still a daunting view.
Today is "D-day". No, not doomsday ... but "decision day". "Go/No Go" day. The day where we (my oncologist team) makes the decision about whether or not I can safely continue treatment. (Read as "complete planned treatment for the best possible prognosis"). This is not an easy day by any means.
The first 3 weeks of my chemo-radiation treatment were actually quite easy to get through (if you can honestly say that having litres of toxic poison pumped through your veins and getting 14 zaps of radiation daily is "easy"!) but for the most part I dealt with it all rather well (hiccups included). I have stayed busy and active; eating well, trying to live a "normal(ish) life, getting out to the mountains, keeping up with my social life ... basically, staying healthy and feeling alive!
What I wasn't prepared for was the news that my immune system was hit HARD by the chemo. My happy oblivion was shattered with the reality last Thursday and Friday that the chemo is actually doing it's intended job of attacking all of my body's fast-growing cells ... including my white blood cells and specifically neutrophils. The good news in all of that is that it's fair to assume any residual cancer cells are under seige from the chemo but the downside is that my immune system can't be allowed to fall so dangerously low so as to risk me catching a life-threatening infection or it can get so bad that they decide to stop radiation, too. Thank goodness Lin is here with me to help me rationalize the information and to just be a friend through all of this.
"So what?" you may say. Lots of people delay chemo by a week or 2 to allow their blood to return to safe levels and then continue on. Well. That is not a possibility in this case. My chemo and radiation run concurrently (at the same time) - radiation occurs everyday and chemo is for 8 hrs on the first 2 days of week #1 and week #4. And guess what?? Today is day #1 of week #4. There are only 3 weeks of daily radiation remaining and the chemo has to be administered this week or it simply doesn't happen. It's a "one shot deal". So ... today is "Go/No Go" decision day. Who would ever think that you'd want to beg for 16 hrs of additional chemo? Well, I am. But more importantly, I'm just hoping my bloodwork is up out of dangerous level territory, radiation can continue and that my prognosis is still looking ok.
Wish me luck ... I'm standing here looking up at the top half of my mountain and it's time to call in some help from my trusty Sherpas. :) I've been studying hard for my blood test all weekend ... so I think I should pass this time! Stay tuned ...
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Thinking of you Lori and wishing you an abundance of health and an immune system that can carry you through the rest of your treatment. BW.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, and hoping you were able to get dosed as planned. Can't believe you're three weeks in. If no chemo, then no radiation?
ReplyDelete~Kellie