Why am I so happy?

People keep commenting that I seem too happy and this should be the most fearful time in my life.  Well, I look at it in few ways:

1. I feel so much better right now than I have for a long time.  I'm thrilled to have energy, optimism and hope for the future.  
2. My diagnosis was about illness.  My treatment is about being healthy and living.  I much prefer living to being sick.  :)
3. I have never felt so loved in my whole life!   The things that people are doing for me is nothing short of incredible.  I am not alone in this - and that makes me so happy and so loved.  :)
4. I try to live my life without regret.   That means that I never want to look back on the things I've done in life with any searing doubts or regrets that I missed out doing the things I wanted to do or wished I could have done.  Carpe Diem, Obsido Cancer! ... Seize the day, Besiege the Cancer! (sorry - I just made that up!  ... apologies for my poor Latin - it's been a lifetime since High School Latin classes and I'm more than a little rusty!  Please feel free to correct me or help me make something poignant up.)  :)

I've been dealt a tough hand of cards my whole life and I've always triumphed over adversity with shear tenacity, a smile and some sort of off-colour humour that most of my friends find somewhat funny (or they simply put up with my wacky jokes as part of "who I am".   ;)

IF my cancer comes back and IF I get sick again in the future, I will look back on this time and know that I really enjoyed life while I was feeling so good.   So, I want to live as much life today ... because I know that believing in life is the only way to make it endure.   I had a very dark thought one day  - "what if there is reincarnation? and what if NEXT time I'm not so lucky?".  That was a very sobering thought.   We are all very lucky by virtue only of our birthright - where we were born, to whom we were born, and in the era in which we were born.  It's all just a stroke of luck.   My advice to you?  Use that luck wisely.  

I said to Saar last week (what do I call you, Saar? my ex? but we're still friends ... so I think I'll call you "friend" because you will be one of my friends and confidants for life!) that I am the luckiest person in the world because I have so many great friends pulling for me and helping me.   To which he replied "just what part of this do you think has to do with "luck"?"   He said "you've given of yourself to everyone around you for your entire life, and you bring great people into your life.  There is no luck involved at all."      Thanks Saar - you made me look at things in a very good way.  

It's February 14th - the day of love and I thank all you who love me ... for simply loving me and supporting me in this journey I'm on. 

All of that is why I am happy!   :)